Do you criticize yourself after connecting with others?

Perhaps you “should” on yourself (“I should have said this instead of that”) and attempt to interpret others’ opinions of you. It’s interesting to consider that others are most likely conducting the same analyses on themselves instead of scrutinizing you. 

Social anxiety is universal, as we are all wired for connection. Fear of judgment can be paralyzing and inhibit us from showing up authentically, or even showing up at all. Let’s connect to the common humanity of this—it’s human to be preoccupied with our “flaws” and attempt to remedy them, in service of ensuring connection. However, this method can be self-destructive.

What would happen if you disrupted your self-flagellation sessions post social engagement and continued to seek out situations that incite this fear of judgment without accommodating it? My hunch is that your life would expand instead of contract, and that your connections would flourish into more vulnerable and fulfilling relationships.